It starts again...
Today is May 21, 2014. It has been about 2 years since my last blog. I feel defeated. I have gained at least 20 lbs in 2 years (if not more!!). I have had friends around me who have shown dedication and are near the "completion" of their journey. It sickens me to think about the time lost. It also sickens me to think about how jealous I am of their journey....almost to the point where I don't want to talk to them about it anymore. And that is not fair to our friendship.

I don't understand why this is so difficult. There has to be a reason I turn to unhealthy food in my hour of need. Even knowing the guilt I feel afterwards does not deter me. Why do I not make more of an effort to exercise? What ever happened to the dance parties I used to enjoy with my kids?

I think about the way I look and feel a lot. I wonder what bad habits I am teaching my children. I am doing a horrible job by not leading as an example. I have even thought those dreaded thoughts..."Maybe I am destined to be this fat for the rest of my life."

NO! I do not accept that! Something needs to change!! And the time is now, not tomorrow.

Today marks a new day. A new dedication to getting fit and feeling good about myself.

I WILL BE HEALTHY. 

Here are my short term goals for the rest of May and the entire month of June:

1. >70,000 steps a week
2. Bring my lunch to work 3 days a week.
3. 1 dance party a week with my kids
4. Lose 5 lbs
5. Make healthy choices when dining out.